The Deadly Cost of Creative Repression

As artists at heart, we have a creative desire that burn within us, but society (and even our own families) can send us negative messages about expressing those desires that encourage us to repress our natural creative impulses. Whether well-intentioned or malicious, this repression of creative energy can be deadly, or at best lead to substance abuse, depression, or anxiety (like it did for me).

To make sense of what is happening when we repress our creativity, I was shown an inspired image (which I painted) of a fire-filled cave called, The Cave of Internal Desire. The flames of this cave represent our creative energy, passionate and burning wildly. Because of external and internal pressures we sometimes get stuck in The Cave and it can start to become toxic.

In this article, we’ll explore the metaphor of The Cave of Internal Desire: why we get stuck in the cave, what happens when we stay too long, and how to get out of the cave and into alignment with our creative truth.

What is the Cave of Internal Desire (really)?

As I meditated on The Cave of Internal Desire, I learned that at its core, The Cave is a trial that we must endure as creatives in order to reach our Truth and our authentic way of being. It’s a portal that we must pass through, but if we stay in the cave too long, we can start to burn.

Why Do We Get Burnt in the Cave?

We get burnt in the cave because we are never intended to stay in the cave. We usually stay there because we are afraid to leave, afraid to step out, and afraid to walk into our creative life and own our creative expression.

If we consider this from the perspective of The Cycle of Creative Flow, what may be happening is that we are getting stuck in the conception energy of the mind. We receive the inspiration of a great idea, roll it around in our mind, and maybe even manifest it physically a little bit, but we keep it to ourselves and never share it with anyone.

We may start to play mind games with ourselves, our ego gives us excuses as to why it’s not ready yet, why not to share it. Usually it’ll be belittling thoughts like, “Your work isn’t polished enough,” “Your art isn’t refined enough,” “Your writing isn’t eloquent enough,” “Nobody will care,” etc.

But the truth is, your soul will care. In fact, it will feel tortured in the fires of your desire until you release it and walk through the cave.

At a certain point, that creative energy that is building up has to go somewhere, it has to be released. If we keep it inside ourselves, repressing our natural impulse to express, and don’t manifest it outward, it can start to become toxic.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
— Maya Angelou

What Does Coming Out of the Cave Require?

Walking out of the cave looks like creating, sharing, talking about your creative ideas to other people, anything where you are expressing the energy outward. Creative expression is called that for a reason…it has to be pushed out.

By repressing our creative desires, we deny the truth of what that energy intends to be, and that’s a pain that is very hard to explain, but creatives who actively repress their impulses know it well. It’s excruciating and it ends up becoming this thing that frustrates or depresses us. Sometimes it becomes so bad, we turn to substances to numb or worse, consider suicide.

Creative expression is called that for a reason…it has to be pushed out.

Sometimes creatives will make art but then refuse to share their work with anyone. While it’s true that you don’t have to share it, there comes a certain point at which our hiding our gifts becomes selfish. The inspiration was given to us to first help ourselves, but then also to help others. We are the vessel with which Spirit seeks to share its creative energy with the world.

Being visible is hard, being seen is hard, but being trapped in the cave, being eaten alive by the flames of your own creative desire and passion is harder.

Freeing Yourself From the Cave

Listen closely…you are being called to express your creative gifts. If there is something that needs to be birthed within you that you are holding in tight, release it, let it go, get it out in whatever capacity you possibly can. Creative expression is a noble and valuable thing, and when we repress our creative desires, we deny the truth of what that energy intends to be.

Once it’s out, you’ll feel free, you’ll feel expansive, you’ll feel light. You won’t feel like you have an elephant sitting on your chest anymore, you won’t feel bound any longer.

Spirit wants you to feel free, and the world needs you to share your creative gifts.

The burning pain of the Cave of Internal Desire is a catalyst meant to push us forward through and out of the cave. Listen closely to your soul and if you feel called to express your creative gifts, release it, let it go, get it out in whatever capacity you possibly can.

Want help reclaiming your creative expression? Use the FREE Heart Alignment Guide I created to get back in touch with your creative truth. You’ll also find a fiercely supportive creative community in Awakened Creators. Follow us on Instagram or watch hundreds of videos on YouTube.

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